Have you ever noticed a voice in your head that is excessively critical of you.  Even where there is no evidence in the present that supports its view.   Do you find it limits possibilities in your life. Does it remind you of a voice from someone in your early life.  If so, you have met your inner critic. This article will help you in working with your inner critic, and to grow beyond it.

Working with your Inner Critic

I wrote in a previous article about the idea that multiple voices in our head is not a sign of insanity, but the reality of a healthy psyche. I have also talked about working on the self, and even looking at your automatic thoughts. Many of my clients struggling with aspects of their lives often get to meet their inner critic. For those of you not in therapy, it does exist  for the majority of people, but maybe its impact on your life at the moment is minimal.

Below is a process which you can use to start working with your inner critic.

A caution If this starts to bring up strong emotions and / or distress then I suggest immediately stopping and engaging with a mental  health professional or service.

 Steps to Working with your inner critic

Consider yourself as an observer

In going through the subsequent  steps,  become curious and imagine you are observing the inner critic.  Maybe you are a reporter who has been tasked with writing an article on your inner critic.  Imagine it as a separate entity to you.  You don’t need to judge it or defend it, just observe.

Impact of the inner critic

Consider what impact the inner critic has on your life. What things does it stop you from doing.  Does it limit the number and depth of your relationships. Does it result in anxiety, sadness or frustration in life.

Key message / voice  of the inner critic

See if you can find the key message it tells you. Does it say you can’t do something. Your not smart. People don’t like you? When you try something  this is how it will end.  Its messages can sometimes be identified through the fact that they are  very generalised and very black and white.  It uses words like ‘always’, ‘everybody’, ‘nobody’, ’ and ‘never’.  Also, does it represent a particular voice in early life. Maybe one of your parents  and  you have now internalised their voice.

Intent of the inner critic

Its intent is usually to protect us from the  perceived unknowns of the outside world. In particular things that might expose us to negative emotions or reduce our sense of self-worth.  The inner critic is often formed early in life at a stage where we are more vulnerable to others and have reduced cognitive and emotional resources.  At these points in our life the certainty and protection it can provide  seems  more useful

Making peace with the inner critic

In therapy this process if often around acknowledging and affirming it for its efforts, but suggesting that it can take it easy.  This step may seem odd. I have found   particularly  with clients in therapy that without this step,  a part of our inner self  will continue  to fight for its voice, and this can result in set-backs and sabotages.

Growth

This is the final and most exciting part of the process. Starting to operate without these messages creates new opportunities It also offers less distress. Initially you may find the messages still exist but they have less influence.  Previously  they would have worked almost subconsciously,  but now you can notice them and dispute them.

Without those key messages identified in an earlier step, we are free to try new and deeper relationships. To have new experiences and to develop new  capabilities.  Failure and negative emotions are also a possible outcome,  but they are not a certainty.

In Finishing

As I suggested at the beginning  of this article, recognising and working with the multiple parts, or voices, of self,  is key to healthy growth. The inner critic  is another part which developed at some point in our life with the intent of protecting us. In recognising its impact, its purpose and messages, we are able to acknowledge it and move beyond it.  The growth and possibility this process offers us can be quite substantial .

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