As a therapist, I often find that an individual’s fears might hold them back from living a more fulfilling and satisfying life. Usually there is a basis in their past for this fear, or if not the original fear has spread into other areas of their life. Fear of failure is another valid response to situations, just like procrastination, rumination and reflection. These responses are purposeful and adaptive, but not always useful or in our best interest. I’m suggesting that being ok to fail, or what I refer to as successfully fail, might be useful. This article and the recommended reading explores this idea further.  

Introduction to fear of failure….

Failure is the state or condition of not meeting a desirable or intended objective. It can also by considered as the opposite of success. From a psychological perspective there is as construct called Fear of Failure and it is considered an avoidance orientated achievement motive. In non-psychology terms this  means it creates a reason to avoid embarking on activities which would lead to the achievement of goals.

In the case of fear of failure the thing being avoided  is the potential feelings of shame. The associated thought is that any failure will indicate a global level of incompetence, beyond that of the specific task being undertaken. Furthermore this incompetence will result in significant people abandoning us. Whilst not the subject of this article, psychologically the fear of abandonment is comparable to the fear of death. Hence why it can be a strong influence. Like many of these almost primal fears we have, our smart brain finds more socially acceptable reasons for this fear, or even just for not embarking on particular activities. These reasons are what we share with others, and tell ourselves. The end result is that we may not even access this underlying fear.

‘There is no innovation and creativity without failure.’ 

Brene Brown

Reasons to Fail

Being willing to embrace failure has been a lesson learnt to me later in life that has had a profound affect. I thought I would recommend an article published in the Guardian called Why we should learn to embrace failure. It offers some great insight on this subject. For me being willing to fail  it is the difference between pursing my passions and dreams, and just wondering how things might have gone if I had. At a personal level being willing to fail means allowing for the possibility of success. Happy reading!