Perfectionism can cause significant distress for individuals who identify with this. It can also be the cause of relationship conflict in many domains, such as work and close personal relationships. In contrast there are also benefits associated with perfectionism.  This article will help you to understand perfectionism, and a  way to identify if it is a problem. It also provides some tips for dealing with these problems.

What is Perfectionism?

Wikipedia provides the following definition of perfectionism.

In psychology, it is a personality trait characterized by a person’s striving for flawlessness and setting high performance standards, accompanied by critical self-evaluations and concerns regarding others’ evaluations.

Perfectionism  is a commonly used term but it is also multi-dimensional. Research tends to break perfectionism into main two parts; positive achievement striving and negative evaluation of self or others.

Many of humanity’s key achievements were probably due to at least the contribution of people with high performance standards. Because of the fact that perfectionism is linked to both positive outcomes and mental health issues, there has been a substantial amount of research on it. This has included how we can obtain the benefits and minimize any negative impacts. We want the people doing medical research, performing medical procedures  on our family, building bridges and tunnels etc, to set high standards and strive to achieve them. The construct of positive perfectionism has also been defined to take into account people who have the striving element, without the negative self-evaluation. Noting that this tendency for negative self-evaluation can impact happiness, create mental health issues and also damage relationships.

So if you consider yourself a perfectionist, or if there is someone in your life who is, what then ?

How to work out if your perfectionism is not so useful

Question 1 – Is it linked negatively to your self worth

Does your desire to be perfect stem from an inner belief that your value as a person is linked to your performance on tasks. Automatic thoughts that support the need to be perfect might be linked to a core belief that you are not lovable / worthy unless you do a perfect job. When you are undertaking the task, and in the time leading up to receiving external feedback, do you experience significant anxiety and stress as you wonder if this will be good enough ?

Question 2 – Does it cause issues with those around you

Do you find that often you don’t have sufficient time to complete the task to your standard.  Does this cause problems in your work  life or relationships with important others. Do you find yourself getting reprimanded for not meeting deadlines. Or in relationship, your not completing tasks on time being a cause of conflict?

Tips for Dealing with Perfectionism Problems

Self-esteem

If striving for perfection and / or not achieving it causes you distress then dependent on the severity of this stress and how it impacts your life, there are a variety of solutions. If the distress is severe or the impact is significant, they I would suggest engaging in psychotherapy. It can be very effective for this type of issue. Also any associated anxiety or depression can also be treated. For less severe distress or functioning, then beginning to work on self-esteem can help. Find ways to value yourself outside of your achievements. Look more broadly for your personal qualities beyond task achievement. 

Time impact

If not having enough time to complete tasks is an impact of your perfectionism, then start to communicate how much time you need, and negotiate with the other person or people involved. Appreciate that in some situations you will need to negotiate why spending the extra time is beneficial .In some cases you will not be successful in getting the extra time. In these cases you will need to manage any associated distress.  If you can do this then you will develop the capacity to choose when you wish to use your striving for perfectionism.

In finishing…….

Perfectionism can be a positive quality that supports the achievement of significant  accomplishments. If you posses the striving associated with perfectionism, and  can minimize any  negative impacts, then great things are possible, and not at the expense of your happiness or mental health.