If you are interested in increasing your mental flexibility then this post might help. It provides some insight insight into our capability to be mentally flexible and some ideas as to how to tap into it.

Psychological research associates mental flexibility with increased subjective well being, also known as happiness, and decreased mental health issues.  Our combined body and brain system is an amazing system that continues to adjusts to external  demands, as well as respond to internal challenges. In regards to the brain itself, we are still learning about its’ capacity to use different parts of the brain when one part is not working. Our challenge and opportunity is that we have the power to direct this adaption, and this adaption not working can be the reason for people to seek help from mental health professionals.

One of the best examples of adaptation is anxiety. Anxiety is an adaption to “better deal” with situations that have previously caused stress. Anxiety can be healthy or useful if the adaption provides a better response moving forward. It can equally result in unhealthy thinking ,or rumination, where we continuously worry beyond what the situation should really warrant.  Similarly, sensitivity to pain in a part of a body can result in us taking action to avoid recurrence.  On the other extreme somatic disorders are where our awareness of pain is beyond that which are body is experiencing, and we become overly sensitised and distressed.

As a therapist working with clients I find that when we use the frame of right or wrong when we look at our behaviour or thinking, then it can become a weapon to use against ourselves and further exacerbate depressive or anxious symptoms. If I think I am worrying too much then I can be worried about how much I worry. If I think it is wrong to spend a week in my room withdrawing then I can feel sad that I’m do this to myself and then withdraw further as I decide that other people wouldn’t like to spend time with someone who behaves in this way. Right versus wrong can be used to support self-criticism and shame.

The frame of useful allows someone to be curious about how they think, feel and act. We  can choose to understand as to why we have adapted this way. Then can consider what other responses might be more useful. As the word useful implies that an adaption is purposeful, we can consider what purpose the existing adaption was designed to achieve, and if this what we wish to achieve now. A great example is we may have had difficulty in early life dealing with conflict and at that time withdrawal may have been the best strategy. It may have protected us. Later in life through continuing to avoid conflict we may find ourselves stuck in less than satisfying relationships, and / or have found our career has not progressed  as well as we would hope. Our original adaption was useful, and it continues to work as intended, but our ability to respond to conflictual situations has most likely increased. Most importantly the use of an avoidance strategy does not result in the best outcomes for us.

If you believe that the inflexible standard of right versus wrong is not working for you, then consider trying the lens of useful as a way of increasing your flexibility to respond to life.

Read more: Cognitive reappraisal – taming your brain??

Read more: Rumination and self-reflection – Is your thinking over the limit ?