Do you sometimes feel you are the character in a story that seems quite familiar?

We define ourselves based on the subjective meaning we make of our life experience. This definition shapes our sense of purpose, impacts our mental health, and is a factor in our  future goals and actions. This is our story, we are the author, and we also play the lead character.

Our life story, or narrative identity, is  purposeful and adaptive. It is subjective and is designed to make sense of how we operate in the world and to support our survival. From a psychological perspective  it is linked to both our subjective  well being and can be predictive of mental health disorders.

Whilst our life experiences are important, so is the meaning we make of these situations. What role did we play?  Were we the victim?  Based on these experiences what do we believe are our strengths and our weaknesses? When we describe ourselves to others, what words do we use?  Do we show ourselves compassion in these descriptions, or are we harsh to ourselves?

Many life experience such as relationship break-ups,  career failures or successes,  set backs beyond our control, are typically included in our story and present opportunities to define our characters.  Like any good story teller we have access to a number of different way to shape our characters.

Psychological research suggest the themes of the stories  and their coherence  can impact our mental health.  The character profiles about ourselves  which are embedded in the story affect the decisions and choices we make in the present.   We often see the future as an extension of the past and can make assumptions about how things will play out on this basis. In this way we keep the storyline consistent. This can be a protective strategy, but in some cases a limiting one.

If you know your story you can understand why you responded in particular ways to people and situations. This in itself can be useful as it can allow for self compassion and kindness, particularly around historical events in your life which may have impacted you adversely. If you find parts of your story, and more importantly your character profile, no longer serve you then you can change it. This may support more flexible and adaptive responses to the world which enhance your well being and your future possibilities.

If you feel your story is overwhelming and / or traumatic, I suggest you enlist the help of a trained therapeutic  professional to understand it.   Otherwise I encourage you to look with curiosity at the themes in your story  and discover what they say about you.