If there is someone in your life who you would like to show them you care then read on. If there is someone you know who is feeling down, or if you just feel like making a difference somehow, then read on as I explain what empathy is and how to give the gift of empathy. 

Empathy – what is it….

I often find that people will say to me is empathy the same as sympathy. I thought I would take a moment now to clear this up. To sum up the differences between the most commonly used meanings of these two terms is: sympathy is feeling compassion, sorrow, or pity for the hardships that another person encounters, while empathy is putting yourself in the shoes of another. Empathy requires us to suspend our opinion and perspective, and to be curious and want to know how it is for someone else. This is why when a therapist offers an environment of empathy it can be greatly therapeutic. In this space of validation and genuine interest, clients can reflect on their perspective, experience being cared about,  and possibly make changes in their life.  When we as individuals offer empathy to someone,  all these effects are possible.

Empathy – how to give it…..

Whilst showing empathy to another costs nothing, it is often not easy. There are a number of techniques and tool which can increase your ability to do this. In this article I will give you four:

1) Minimise external distractions. Empathy is more likely to be possible when you can fully listen to someone and hear what they are saying.

2) Minimise internal distraction. We all have varying degrees of internal mind chatter. Mindfulness activities like deep breathing can help reduce the internal noise.

3) Avoid thinking about your response before the other person has finished speaking. This is also hard to do and will take practice. Having a clear mind helps us to be able to listen more effectively.

4) Try reflecting back parts of what was said and / or what you understood to be the main parts, and ideally the feeling. Do not do this all the time, but used appropriately can really increase someone’s perception of being listened to. It also helps with clarity.

As always with these ideas. there are no failures, only progress.

I would love to hear of your experiences of giving or receiving empathy. Any comments are gratefully received.