Emotions are valuable clues for understanding our needs, wants and how we react to our environment, which includes the people around us. The better we get at reading these clues and responding in a way that supports our well being and achieves desired outcomes for us, the better the quality of our lives. In this week’s article I will provide some ideas on how to increase your emotional intelligence through emotional awareness.

As mentioned in my previous article on using attention control to regulate emotions, emotions are designed to get our attention so we can take any required action. From an evolutionary perspective, these emotions and the associated actions could ensure our survival. Also, as the regulation of emotions have such a significant connection with a number of mental health disorders, as well as our subjective well being or happiness, I decided to cover another aspect of this topic this week.

This being emotional expression and emotional awareness or, how to increase your emotional intelligence through emotional awareness. I have put these two together as not only are they connected from a process perspective, but it appears they have a circular relationship. I will explain this more later.

Emotional Expression

Emotional expression refers to the specific emotions that we express and includes the intensity of it and related body sensations. In a nut shell, a number of events result in emotional expression and these include input from our senses (loud notices, skin damage etc), learned and conditioned responses (when we see pictures of certain things it triggers a particular emotional sensation) and response to various cognitive appraisals. The last one refers to situation where we review the information about a situation and based on our own biases determine an appropriate emotional response. For example, if I’m scared of dogs then I might experience fear when I see a dog, but if I like dogs an approaching dog might trigger an emotion of excitement.

Emotional Awareness

Emotional awareness includes the ability to name an emotion and to determine its intensity which include body sensations. Some people struggle to name any emotion, others have maybe 3 emotions. Some choose from a broader number of terms. An example if someone who says they are angry to cater for pretty much all negative emotions as opposed to someone who will use the words angry, annoyed, frustrated or irritated to describe a variety of negative emotions. The second person can vary their response based on which of these terms are relevant to a specific situation. I might decide that usually when I’m irritated it relates to me being tired, but when I’m angry if could be that I have been triggered by a particular person and / or thing they have said. If I’m tired I can take steps to re-energize. If I’m angry I can decide to review the specifics of the situation and then decide how to respond. Similarly those who can notice variations in intensity are more able to vary their response to the emotion based on the intensity level. If I’m angry and I’m at a 9, I might notice some really strong body reactions, ie breathing, body temperature etc, that don’t occur when I’m at a 3 or 4.

The Circular Relationship Between Expression and Awareness

This is referred to in research suggesting that those with a greater vocabulary and discernment for emotions are also better able to express this diversity in their emotions. If we are able to notice a broader range of emotions then this increases our flexibility in expression. The end result is an ability to provide more finely tuned emotional messages, which are easier to interpret and to respond to flexibly and in a way that gets the best outcomes for us.

Exercise to Increase your Emotional Awareness

When you notice an emotion, using your phone or a journal, write down the word you would use to describe it, and the intensity out of 5 or 10. If you wish to, also include the situation and thought that preceded it.

At the end of each day reflect on the words you used. If you find yourself using non specific words like good or bad, or even non emotional words such as busy, note this. Give yourself a challenge for the next day to try to be more specific. If you need to research other emotional words, what they mean and more importantly what would expressing this emotion be like for you. Note that this is less about language accuracy but more about flexibility.

Also look at the intensity. Again, if you use the same number each time then challenge yourself to vary it. Consider what signs (thoughts, body sensations etc) you relate to a particularly intensity.

In Finishing

Getting to know your emotional world, through increasing your emotional vocabulary and even flexibility in expression, can increase the quality of your life and be protective against mental health disorders.

If you did take the option of writing down the situation and thought preceding the emotion this might also give you some clues on how you view the world. Something also to consider and reflect on.

If you interested and wish to read more see the articles below.

Getting to Know You – A Self Awareness Tool

Take Control of Your Thoughts

Enjoy from Scott